An outing with her ...

After my malaysian studies exam today i went out with someone considered to be "SPECIAl" to Alamanda for dinner. After so long i have been separated from her and we went to ALAmanda at this time . LOlz IT was weird and we decided to go to NAndo's to have our dinner. Actually i really wanted to spend her but she was like so offended and she said " AH nevermind la since u spend me last time i spend u this time ok ". I notice she hasnt really change that much since she is with someone else. Still the same annoying sweet girl i know since foundation. THe same girl that is so caring and would listen to all your problems even though she has her own problems keeping inside of her. SHe has the ability to glow around others when the people around her is dark . The girl which i knew and loved till now hasnt change but am i the guy who change because of her. There are many problems in my heart that i kept it in silence last time . I tried to ignore everyone in this world due to stress that my parents are giving me . One tried to get money from another and another is trying not to give money . I am fed up of all this shit already . I am fed up of being sad and angry . I am tired of shutting people out especially those who are really caring. I wanna be happy and i wanna give people the feeling of happiness especially my friends happiness . Eventually i broke up with her without knowing the reasons and why it happened during the first day of chinese new year . I was depressed then and didnt know wat i was doing but eventually she is happy off with another guy now. I always ask BUDDHA for happiness for me , my dad and mum but i did not see any of it getting to them. MY dad is full of shit now and he is the type who likes to give excuse in whatever possible way not to pay my fees . He makes people's life miserable but he is enjoying in his own sweet house with big TV and hometeater system. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT TILL NOW MY DAD DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT IS THE NAME OF MY UNIVERSITY ??? LMFAO . It was either too funny or dissapointing to me . I dont even think he knows how to come to my uni as i asked his help many times but he keeps giving excuses that he is busy with his work . ALl i know is when i call his office he always get off work at 5pm sharp. I really see him as a failure in life . FAILURE IN WHICHEVER WAY HE IS . LOL.. Btw doesnt matter whatever shit decision it is i willl strive hard. I will be happy with my frens which is them that i can forget about my problems . If I Really could turn back time, I would MAKE her as happy as i could . I love her back then and my feelings for her has not changed until now. ..